I figured now would be as good a time as any to write to you about how school is going. The strangest thing happened to me yesterday. I was walking around campus with Ashley when, out of the corner of my eye, this blue object began to glisten in the sun. Ashley dared me to go touch it so I did (I know I promised I wouldn’t give into peer pressure in college but it was just so tempting). Luckily the object didn’t hurt me or make any noise because I don’t know what I would have done. It was such a nice day that me and Ashely decided to sit on the grass and take a closer look at the device. Like I said, it was blue and about the size of one of your world famous brownies (it probably wouldn’t taste as good). There was a screen on it that almost resembled a dark mirror. We could see our reflections in it sometimes but they were faint. We were pretty disappointed when we found out that the 18 buttons on the thing DIDN’T EVEN WORK! HOW DUMB IS THAT?! I took off the back cover (or front cover I’m not quite sure) and it revealed a boring piece of metal and a weird circle that looks like the eye of the Terminator. Anyways things got pretty exciting when I threw it to Ashley and it popped open revealing even more keys with weird looking symbols! They didn’t work either though which actually made me really angry. What is the point of this thing if the buttons on it didn’t work? Ashley was tired of hearing me whine so she grabbed a hammer that she keeps in her backpack for wood shop class and started smashing the thing. I didn’t really mind though. It did the same thing when it was smashed that it did when it was put together; nothing.
Your Dearest Daughter,